
I've never done St. Patty's Day in Boston. I know this may come as a shock to some but I've never had the urge to take part in St. Patty's Day. I've taken part in a couple St. Patty's Days down in Savannah when I was in college and that was about all the craziness I could require.
Believe it or not, Savannah Georgia has one of the largest St. Patty's Days celebration in the country. Which seems really strange in the deep south seeing that most of the people down there are about as Irish as I am.
Well, my cousin Jared invited me along to take part in St. Patty's Day. So, I figured what the hell. Have a couple pints of Guinness and see what it is all about.
We couldn't have planned it more perfectly. The parade was Sunday and most people were working, so the drunks weren't out in complete full force that night. It was still crazy but probably not as batshit crazy as it most likely was Sunday.
So, my cousin Jared, his girlfriend Alicia, his friend from Tulsa Cassandra, cousin Jonah (Jared's brother) and I took the train from Riverside Station and went into Boston.
Our adventures began when we got off the T at Commonwealth Ave. to drop Cassandra's bags off at her brother's place. We all popped into this dingy little bar around 4pm and have a little drink. I tend to be a bit adventurous and love to try new beers, so I saw that they had a tap for what looked like a English beer called Strongbow.
Yeah, I know having an English beer in an Irish celebration. I get the irony. Well, the irony was I didn't order an English beer. I ordered an English Hard Cider.
I was so disappointed. It was just awful. I hate hard cider, hard lemonades or any beerS with the words blueberry, cherry or cranberries on the label. YUCK!! I was so looking forward to a nice ale after our travels and to have that be the first flavor to invade my tastebuds was a bitter disappointment. Oh well.
I got a Guinness shortly after to clear the palette.
Well, around that time we were suddenly accosted by this tall drunken redneck from Kansas (or Kansas City) who sounded like Matthew McConaughey from
Dazed and Confused suddenly wanted to make friends with us. The guy was loud, obnoxious and had really bad teeth. Everything you're looking for in drinking companionship.
Well, he was immediately taking a liking towards Cassandra because he liked her blue hair. He had walked away a couple times and we had hoped he found a new group to pester. No luck. He seemed to gravitate back towards us. Nice!!
Well, we had to take a quick jaunt down to Cassandra's brother's place. We thought he was going to stay with Jonah because he mentioned something about buying a pitcher of beer. Which of course caught Jonah's attention. I had no intention of staying because I wanted to hold off on drinking anymore until we met up with Jared's sister Jesslyn.
The four of us leave with Jonah up at the bar. Sure enough, our drunken yokel follows us. And we couldn't shake him. He followed us all the way to Cassandra's brother's place. And even asked me to open this bottle of Newcastle he had with him. I honestly had no intention of even touching the bottle. It's $200 if you're caught with an opened container. It didn't seem to bother my shitkicking friend. But I didn't feel like paying $200!!
Well, as we walked along he was getting louder and bipolar. Hitting on every girl that walked his way. I told one of the poor girls to run. And when people wouldn't wish him a Happy St. Patty's Day he would start getting aggressive and start following them yelling at them.
It was surreal. This is something I would expect to go through at 23. Not 33. We thought we might actually be rid of him when these two girls asked us where a tattoo shop was and he started following them. But like a drunken hillbilly homing pigeon, he seemed to find his way back to us.
Well, it was finally time to collect Jonah at the bar. Our gaggletoothed friend was trying to get Cassandra's number. So she gave it.
867-5309!! Ha ha!! Apparently, he was either too drunk to realize or he was just too stupid not to know about Tommy Tutone. I vote both drunk and stupid.
We got on the T and headed out towards meeting Jesslyn at Shennanigans. Apart from Jonah running down the escalator that only goes up. That was about all the excitement of the evening. The rest of the evening was pretty nice. Once we left Shennanigans we hit one more bar. Actually, I liked this bar a lot more than Shennanigans. Comfy seats. But I only had a water because I didn't want to get blasted that night. I knew I was going to be working today and besides the fact I don't like getting drunk anymore.
But if we do St. Patty's next year, we all agreed that we wanted to go there instead. Especially since it was right next to the entrance for the T.
Needless to say, I can't say my adventures in Boston last night WERE boring. Ha ha!!